Top Ten Reasons You're Gonna Love Your Smart Meter

1. You will save so much money on-shampoo
Because you will not have much hair left after being microwaved daily! 

2. No more guilt over being tired at work because everyone with a Smart Meter will totally understand! 

3. Way more "ME TIME" Because you've Discovered That you've been microwaved into the infertile range! 

4. Your energy bill will skyrocket creating more incentive to work harder great and climb the ladder! 

5. Your spouse now completely Understands When you say not tonight dear Because everyone knows the Smart Meter microwave frequencies zap. . . well, you know! 

6. Do not worry about saving money for retirement Because Smart Meter frequencies shave at least 8 years off your Life Expectancy. 

7. You'll age prematurely right along with all of your friends with Smart Meters so you can slack off on trying so hard! 

8. You get to buy all new Smart Appliances with RFID spy-chips in Them That will know more about you than you do, Which is great Because you can not remember a thing anymore! 

9. Excellent time to invest heavily in big pharmaceuticals Because The Smart Meter Global Grid will expose billions of people to radiation illness and They Will Those always need expensive remedies handy, and do not forget about Their pets! 

10. Electricity rationing your routine and brown outs Will Become a fun new game and you Will Become quite an expert on how to save money by cooking your chicken at 4 am in the morning

When there is less demand!